At the age of thirty-nine, Christian theologian Todd Billings was diagnosed with a rare form of incurable cancer. In the wake of that diagnosis, he began grappling with the hard theological questions we face in the midst of crisis: Why me? Why now? Where is God in all of this? This eloquently written book shares Billings's journey, struggle, and reflections on providence, lament, and life in Christ in light of his illness, moving beyond pat answers toward hope in God's promises. Theologically robust yet eminently practical, it engages the open questions, areas of mystery, and times of disorientation in the Christian life. Billings offers concrete examples through autobiography, cultural commentary, and stories from others, showing how our human stories of joy and grief can be incorporated into the larger biblical story of God's saving work in Christ.
1. Walking in the Fog: A Narrowed Future or a Spacious Place?
2. Sorting through the Questions: The Book of Job, the Problem of Evil, and the Limits of Human Wisdom
3. Lamenting in Trust: Praying with the Psalmist amid a Sea of Emotions
4. Lamenting to the Almighty: Discerning the Mystery of Divine Providence
5. Joining the Resistance: Lament and Compassionate Witness to the Present and Future King
6. Death in the Story of God and in the Church
7. Praying for Healing and Praying for the Kingdom
8. In the Valley: Toxins, Healing, and Strong Medicine for Sinners
9. The Light of Perfect Love in the Darkness: God's Impassible Love in Christ
10. "I Am Not My Own": Our Story Incorporated into Christ's